so where to begin

this is going to be long but i apologize. i have been getting slack from people for not writing blogs.

december...
we had a pre Christmas party at the us ambassador's house. free food and drinks and getting to meet a lot of cool people. the ambassador is opening the pool up on saturdays from 2-5p as long as it is working. i have been giving some accounting formations that have went well but i am frustrated that it is hard to motivate people. also, i have had a lack of attendance at the savings and loan groups in one of my villages. we are planning to start again in january.

Christmas i visited from friends up north in kandi and they had a very different Christmas from what i am used to. I was able to talk to alot of my family members and at least touch base as to what they were doing. My Grandpa Bretveld has been in and out of rehab and the hospital. Currently today, in January he is in the rehab portion of the hospital and does three hours of rehab work a day, hopefully he will be even stronger than before and will be able to go home and stay there. Please pray for my Grandma as well, being home alone. My uncle is there to help her and my mom goes to visit alot as well but it is still a difficult time.

I took a break at Christmas time, going up to Kandi and then visited the parks in the northwest side of benin. It was so beautiful and it actually gets cold at night because it is closer to the desert as opposed to my post which is in the valley where it is always humid even during the dry season. We spent a three days in the parks, seeing wildlife: lions, elephants, monkeys, lots of deer and antelope, some very colorful birds, and beautiful sunsets. We were definitely scared on multiple occasions because the lions almost charged the car. It is a cool story because I am able to say almost and I am here to write you all this post. The last day we stopped at the waterfalls and got to go swimming in the pool and jump of a little clif. There was a guy who could climb the entire cliff and jump off the very top in the time it took me to get a third of the way up. He made it look so easy and he looked so fearless when he jumped.

Back at post I spent New Years with my village. I ate and drank so much i thought i would burst. They were definitely excited for me to spend the "fete" with them. We even killed the concession goat. I have some pictures of that, i am going to try to put up pictures tomorrow. I even went to a dance party at my friend's house. I cant remember if i mentioned the all night dance party i had with my church but that was awesome too. I am learning to mix my style with some of the african moves.

So now to the past couple weeks. The monday after newyears I was called into the office because i had forgotten to turn in my form for vacation until quite late. I didnt realize it was a big problem but let me say I almost came home to see all you lovely people. I got a little punishment which i can deal with but it was very stressful. I also cannot work as a trainer for the next group of volunteers which doesn't mean much to you guys but it is a big deal here. I accept it though, it was a violation of policy and they needed to do something.

Anyways, last week we had a week long training session with my group of small enterprise volunteers. Our Beninese counterparts were with us and we were able to discuss our goals for the coming year and our action steps for the next 3 months. I think it was pretty productive and helped me to get on the same page with my counterpart. It was also an awesome time to catch up with other volunteers and hear about the projects they are getting involved in. We learned about possible fundraising opportunities and grant proposal options. For all of you who read my previous posts I will probably be posting a proposal on the peace corps website that you can donate to. I am looking into helping my community build latrines in the schools that don't have them. I will post the link on my blog when i find it. They are also looking for funds to help support girls coming to a girl's empowerment camp. I will be working as a counsler and hopefully be bringing some girls from my community.

So thursday of the training sessions i ended up going to the hospital. I was allergic to the black mold that was on the ceiling of our room and had been having difficulty breathing the first couple days. It got worse on thursday and i tried taking my inhaler but it didnt help. My breathing got pretty respirated and my knees and hands were cramping up. My diagnosis upon discharge can directly be translated as "nervous anguish". So in other words they thought i had a panic attack brought on by asthma. I ended up getting oxygen and drugs in a mask and was eventually fine. I spent the night there and have to say that i highly recommend the nurses and doctors who were all lovely people. I went back to the last session on friday because we were supposed to be presenting in pairs.

Then there was saturday. not all of you are affected by this but Kathy Porter who went to my church back home passed away this week from cancer. i found out saturday night but i guess it had happened earlier this week. This is really hard on me but i think it helps to write it out here. She was an awesome, amazing, prayer warrior, kind hearted, caring woman of God. She fought the good fight and stood up for justice and the unloved. She was a radical Christian and I know that God must have missed her an awful lot to take her to him now. She was an incredible witness for everyone. I am staying in cotonou for a couple of days to work and to process this death. Although she is not direct family i think it make things real when death hits close to home and i am so far away. i hate not having closure, but i thank God for how Mrs Porter supported me even while i was here. she cared about me and even sent me a letter to africa and i know that i made it to her list of prayers that she kept so devotedly. Please pray for the family she left behind and all the friends who loved her so much.