so where to begin

this is going to be long but i apologize. i have been getting slack from people for not writing blogs.

december...
we had a pre Christmas party at the us ambassador's house. free food and drinks and getting to meet a lot of cool people. the ambassador is opening the pool up on saturdays from 2-5p as long as it is working. i have been giving some accounting formations that have went well but i am frustrated that it is hard to motivate people. also, i have had a lack of attendance at the savings and loan groups in one of my villages. we are planning to start again in january.

Christmas i visited from friends up north in kandi and they had a very different Christmas from what i am used to. I was able to talk to alot of my family members and at least touch base as to what they were doing. My Grandpa Bretveld has been in and out of rehab and the hospital. Currently today, in January he is in the rehab portion of the hospital and does three hours of rehab work a day, hopefully he will be even stronger than before and will be able to go home and stay there. Please pray for my Grandma as well, being home alone. My uncle is there to help her and my mom goes to visit alot as well but it is still a difficult time.

I took a break at Christmas time, going up to Kandi and then visited the parks in the northwest side of benin. It was so beautiful and it actually gets cold at night because it is closer to the desert as opposed to my post which is in the valley where it is always humid even during the dry season. We spent a three days in the parks, seeing wildlife: lions, elephants, monkeys, lots of deer and antelope, some very colorful birds, and beautiful sunsets. We were definitely scared on multiple occasions because the lions almost charged the car. It is a cool story because I am able to say almost and I am here to write you all this post. The last day we stopped at the waterfalls and got to go swimming in the pool and jump of a little clif. There was a guy who could climb the entire cliff and jump off the very top in the time it took me to get a third of the way up. He made it look so easy and he looked so fearless when he jumped.

Back at post I spent New Years with my village. I ate and drank so much i thought i would burst. They were definitely excited for me to spend the "fete" with them. We even killed the concession goat. I have some pictures of that, i am going to try to put up pictures tomorrow. I even went to a dance party at my friend's house. I cant remember if i mentioned the all night dance party i had with my church but that was awesome too. I am learning to mix my style with some of the african moves.

So now to the past couple weeks. The monday after newyears I was called into the office because i had forgotten to turn in my form for vacation until quite late. I didnt realize it was a big problem but let me say I almost came home to see all you lovely people. I got a little punishment which i can deal with but it was very stressful. I also cannot work as a trainer for the next group of volunteers which doesn't mean much to you guys but it is a big deal here. I accept it though, it was a violation of policy and they needed to do something.

Anyways, last week we had a week long training session with my group of small enterprise volunteers. Our Beninese counterparts were with us and we were able to discuss our goals for the coming year and our action steps for the next 3 months. I think it was pretty productive and helped me to get on the same page with my counterpart. It was also an awesome time to catch up with other volunteers and hear about the projects they are getting involved in. We learned about possible fundraising opportunities and grant proposal options. For all of you who read my previous posts I will probably be posting a proposal on the peace corps website that you can donate to. I am looking into helping my community build latrines in the schools that don't have them. I will post the link on my blog when i find it. They are also looking for funds to help support girls coming to a girl's empowerment camp. I will be working as a counsler and hopefully be bringing some girls from my community.

So thursday of the training sessions i ended up going to the hospital. I was allergic to the black mold that was on the ceiling of our room and had been having difficulty breathing the first couple days. It got worse on thursday and i tried taking my inhaler but it didnt help. My breathing got pretty respirated and my knees and hands were cramping up. My diagnosis upon discharge can directly be translated as "nervous anguish". So in other words they thought i had a panic attack brought on by asthma. I ended up getting oxygen and drugs in a mask and was eventually fine. I spent the night there and have to say that i highly recommend the nurses and doctors who were all lovely people. I went back to the last session on friday because we were supposed to be presenting in pairs.

Then there was saturday. not all of you are affected by this but Kathy Porter who went to my church back home passed away this week from cancer. i found out saturday night but i guess it had happened earlier this week. This is really hard on me but i think it helps to write it out here. She was an awesome, amazing, prayer warrior, kind hearted, caring woman of God. She fought the good fight and stood up for justice and the unloved. She was a radical Christian and I know that God must have missed her an awful lot to take her to him now. She was an incredible witness for everyone. I am staying in cotonou for a couple of days to work and to process this death. Although she is not direct family i think it make things real when death hits close to home and i am so far away. i hate not having closure, but i thank God for how Mrs Porter supported me even while i was here. she cared about me and even sent me a letter to africa and i know that i made it to her list of prayers that she kept so devotedly. Please pray for the family she left behind and all the friends who loved her so much.

give thanks for water

they turned the pump back on this week so i have drinking water. I saw people carrying 3 or 4 bidons or barrels to the pump that day. I have 2 guys who are getting my water now. *

so last friday i took a moto ride out to this field that was donated to the artisans in the community. it is purposed for their offices for all the artisans in Toffo; for meetings and classes; and for hopefully a center for computers. right now it is just a field with corn in it though that someones brother or whatnot asked to use while they figure out what to do. so they told me that they are looking to me for help. could anyone who has an extra moment on the computer email me some outline formats for building or grant proposal fundings§ we are looking for a patron to helping in construction. I am looking to start a needs assessment. also i dont know how this would work but if anyone has connections to companies that could donate good working computers give me a holler. sigh; i miss everyone::::

happy thanksgiving everyone. i am going to my friends house a couple hours away and we are killing a chicken and maybe making curry sauce and coconut veggies: not the same as holidays with the family but i take what i can get

really almost 4 months??

thanks for all who prayed me through my mold allergy sickness. i had a cold but it is gone now. things are well here. i started accounting formations on wednesday mornings and i have giving english tutoring lessons on tuesday afternoons. next week i will start attending meetings for a savings and loan group. originally i thought i would be starting the group but when i arrived a couple weeks ago i realized that they had already started but wanted me to oversee and help them fix problems they were having. it was a little embarressing because they let me give a speech as to what a savings and loan group was and how to start one. i think it was a thing of respect or language barrier since someone was translating for me or both. anyways, i am trying to make contacts and work on ideas for secondary projects. i am trying to do consulting with one or two artisans a week as to marketing or accounting or other things. also i have taken up sewing and finding interesting ways to recycle my trash. please pray for me to find somewhere to hold computer formations; there are no computers but everyone wants to learn. i am not sure if they would actually use the cyber cafes but i will probably do a survey as to their motives the first week when i actually find computers to use.

ps there is a japonese volunteer that works with disabled kids who is volunteering through the japonese version of pc: it is fun hanging out and talking with her in french

something is starting....

I am excited. On Tuesday I will have my first meeting with a group of people who want to form a Village Savings and Loan Association. I visited with the group that the previous volunteer had started last week and they are still going strong. The groups last for 1 year from they day that they started saving. All loans are given internally from the money that they group has saved. They buy “shares” in the group and can buy up to 5 shares each week. The group decides how much each share will cost depending on how much the group thinks they will be able to consistently save. I am blessed to have a copy of the manual in French and English. I don’t have to go to my dictionary each time I don’t understand something and my counterpart for this project will be able to read and understand the manual too.

I received my armoire and bookshelf. They are pretty and the menusie/ carpenter did a good job. My peace corps friend in town didn’t have as good of luck. She was waiting a month for the work to be done and when she went there it looked like he hadn’t started. I got mine done in 2 weeks. She placed and order with my menusie on Monday and I am picking it up today (Friday). I asked my friend about this and he said that this is common, artisans, especially menusies will take the advance deposit and sit and think about it for awhile without any work actually being done. There are many people who I have found that do actually work hard though. The man who cleaned out and patched up my ceiling put up my mosquito net and put up my decounter (something that counts the electricity since my neighbor and I run off the same box). He is also a trained hair beautician (coiffeurse) and I recently discovered he fixes shoes and sells brooms. When I passed him last week he was planting something in a plot of land behind his house. All this to say people here have to work hard to make the dollar (or franc). They learn to diversify their skills if they want to do well. I feel like my friend is an anomaly.

I am becoming desensitized to the bugs. I have now killed 2 cockroaches and a large spider. There have been many more than that, but usually I will have the neighbor kids kill them. Unfortunately when it is really late at night I don’t want to wake them but I refuse to sleep with a miniature tarantula above my head. I find that as with many things in a new place, especially like Africa, you learn to adapt. Showering from a bucket, sweeping the dirt out every morning, drawing water for bathing and washing dishes every morning… Passing my language exam used to be my biggest prayer as I was preparing for this trip but now my prayers are focused towards working well with my work partners and becoming more a part of this community. I still pray for knowledge of the language but now it is Fon more than French. I am supposed to start lessons with a Fon teacher soon.

I love the next door neighbors. We have started giving each other food. I shared a watermelon with the concession and most of them didn’t know what it was. Sometimes she will send over yams or pate with sauce and I will send some of my stir fry. The kids are so cute. Sandra is a toddler and there are 2 twin newborns in the other concession (Elvie and Elvis). I am glad for the neighbor boys too. I think they are impressed by how hard I work, but they will help me when I am struggling. They will get my drinking water from the pump down the street and whenever I am working on something like pounding nails into my cement walls, and I cry out multiple times one of them will come help me.

Well I miss you all. Please send me letters or emails to let me know how things are going. You are loved and in my prayers. P.S. I am testing out another church this week. The first two weeks I went to the Catholic church because they spoke French, but I couldn’t take communion, and the last two weeks I went to weeks I went to a Pentecostal Church but they pray all at the same time, which is a little much for me on top of not speaking my language. I guess I can’t tell when they are speaking in tongues though because it all sounds like that to me. =) Well I am hoping the Baptist church is something like I am used to.

Zambettos and Playing frogger

a note on zambettos. the village vodoun practices sometimes can bother the normality of women in the village. i was a tech visit a couple months back and riding a moto with my friend and the driver. a man flagged us down and told us the zambettos were out. i was told to cover my head, given the man's sweaty t shirt and then like a good volunteer put on my helment. The moto then continues on and we passed through 2 checkpoints lets call them which were essentially men with their shirts off holding a rope demanding money. there was i am sure a vodoun fettish or a man dressed as a haystack somewhere in the village. for some reason women are not allowed to see this. it was rather intimidating riding through terre rouge with a bag over my head but i guess its a part of being integrated. sigh. my friend rich was a gentleman trying to reassure me. when we would stop there would be people surrounding us saying things in local language. all in all; i had a good cold drink; coke; when i got back.

playing frogger:::
when the catholics get in the taxis they cross themselves and i have started to pray as well. taxis, semis, motos, and any vehicle i am leaving out drive down the roads at life endagering speeds while carrying loads twice their size or more. motos will have passengers who carry rebar around their waste and let it drag on the ground behind them, potholes are everywhere, semis will take curves at dangerous speeds while again carrying oversized loads, people pass by honking and usually just miss the oncoming traffic and all in all people dont slow down for each other they just honk. i feel like motos are a little more cautious because they never win the battle but hardly anyone besides peacecorps wears a helment. i play frogger everyday; but i am still probably bad at the video game.

work? searching for "clients"

sorry it has taken awhile to get this posted. so there are a couple cybers in my town that are not the most reliable because of power and internet connection but they do the job for the few times i will use it. i am doing well and i am making friends. work here is difficult. if i am ever asked if i am a self starter in a future job interview i can tell them that i have been a self starter for the past two years of my life. i am at times jealous of the english teachers who have their schedules laid out for them before they step in the town, although i wouldnt want to teach children.

i have been trying to find additional ^^work partners. i see potential but it comes with time. everything takes four times as long to get done here. this morning for instance the bureau had told me they were meeting at my house to discuss my schedule of formations for the future months. i will be teaching accounting, marketing, and computer skills to the artisans of 6 different arrondissments. I will be teaching 2 or possibly 3 arrondissments per month.

I am also looking for other projects ideas with the groupments helping them in agrobusiness: planting new vegetables, teaching accounting for illiterates==a program using symbols to teach accounting to those who cannot read/write; maybe teaching farmers about composting; maybe teaching cooking classes of foods other than pat and red/green sauce with fish (i cook for myself alot). I am trying to research the benefits of the merenga plant; not sure i am spelling it right but the search results pop up with the dance not the plant. Anyways i am hoping to have our village do a formation on merenga and maybe work with the health center to plant the trees. Maybe the health center could sell the merenga in the city.

Lastly, (but really it should be first), savings and loan groups will hopefully become a main project. The treasurer of the arrondissment of the neighboring town worked with the previous volunteer on this and it was sucessful i think. I am going to try to pursue savings and loan alot. It is a system where women get together to save money. They will give a sum each week that the group decides on and also after the money builds up can loan money to other group members at a cost. they will end after a year and the benefits will be divided out among the group. This is very rewarding for them emotionally and financially. Many times if a women makes money she will use it to help her family or her husband will take it. She is often times saving herself from spending it; i guess that what banks are essentially for but her in this colletivist culture based on community the members of groups are able to keep each other accountable as well.

Housing and such, things are well. I recently had my ceiling cleaned and repaired. It is hard to describe ceilings here but there is a space in between the plafonds and the actual roof where various creatures including bats, mice, insects, reptiles.. were living. The guy cleaned it and patched it up. I am having fun trying to learn fon and talking with the neighbor kids. There is another peace corps volunteer in my village and we hang out sometimes as well. Overall i am very content to be here. I know I am where God wants. I have found a friend to go to church with. She is in highschool and keeps telling me she wants to come back to the states with me. alot of people tell me that but she is one who i am dissapointed to dissapoint. Thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers. I love u: a la prochain:

please pray for my grandpa. he had pneumonia and is better but is living in rehab getting his strength (as far as the last conversation with my mom). either way i love him very much. it is hard being far away from family.

Workstation visit

so, i stayed up last night writing a long blog but now my computer is malfunctioning again. i think it is the heat. if it works agaoin i will copy paste and you can hear about my past month here. over all i am doing well. thank you to my mom and my Bible study friends for all the letters. thanks mom also i got 2 copies of the book from amazon that we ordered? did u mean to send 2? i am sorry about not being able to skype. if it gets up and running in the next hour than okay but otherwise we will talk sunday. okay i am not sure when they will get there but i am sending some letters. thank you to those who prayed for my health. i am doing much better. still a little on the skinny side but that is normal for africa. no more ghiardia though. (sp?) i love my village and my house pretty good too. you can hear more about it when my computer is up and running. ttyl and i love you all very much.